So we’re taking a break from the world bad news this week to come clean. It’s never easy to make a public confession but it’s time we do:
If dosed with truth serum and asked whether we would prefer to watch women in bikinis jumping on trampolines or women’s soccer – we gotta’ go with the trampolines.
And yes in these days where we find misogyny everywhere – and who other than woke reporters ever write that word? – that makes us a horrible, awful person.
First, we’re awful because women’s soccer is all the rage. The media love the U.S. women’s soccer team. They tell us constantly that not only is the women’s soccer team super-duper – but the players are so very, very brave.
Never mind they enjoy tremendous privilege, whether they are white or not, and have been U.S. media darlings forever – they are still so, so brave.
Hey, it ain’t easy to kneel through the entirety of the national anthem. That song can last more than two minutes, which could cause some sore knees. So, so brave.
While we make no claim to be nearly as courageous as our women’s soccer team, the public confession to prefer bikini trampoline jumping to women’s soccer is a bold move on our part.
But we’re not alone.
Multiple polls show that the overwhelming majority of men would choose the trampoline over women’s soccer. In fact, those same polls show the vast majority of men are really tired of hearing about the women’s soccer team.
(Confession: We made all that up. There are no polls. We figure if people can make up polls about elections, we could too. But despite the lack of polling, we stand by the results as reported.)
So why are we blathering about this stuff?
Two words: Jimmy and Mike.
So last week the news broke that Mike Richards could no longer be the host of the popular TV show, “Jeopardy!”. It turns out that years ago Mike had a podcast in which he said some bad things about women.
You can’t imagine how bad.
In fact, it is only in the interest of true journalism that we must reprint what he said here: He asked his co-host whether she had ever taken any “booby pictures.”
Never mind this happened almost 10 years ago. Also never mind his co-host was not offended. Also, never mind that this was supposed to be funny and all part of the act (hey, podcast humor ain’t that great). And finally, never mind that nobody was offended because nobody listened to his podcast.
Because he said it he was fired as “Jeopardy!” host.
Getting “cancelled” is the latest gift from the Left. It’s all the rage on college campuses, newsrooms and boardrooms. You say something not accepted by the “smart crowd” and you are done, finished, kaput.
Comedians, including Jerry Seinfeld, say it is so bad they won’t perform on college campuses because their humor may offend the dimwitted students who dominate the institutions once known as places of higher learning.
A guy named Chris Harrison, host of “The Bachelor,” was fired for having impure thoughts. He defended a contestant when it was reported she attended an antebellum party. It seems antebellum parties, unlike the blackface governors, are racist or something.
On and on it goes. There are dozens and dozens of other examples. Liberals shriek, cry, pout and shout when they hear something they do not like until somebody gets fired.
And finally we get to bikinis and trampolines.
Jimmy Kimmel is a left-wing liberal who is said to be a comedian. But before he became a darling of Leftists everywhere, he was co-host of something called “The Man Show.”
The show was what you expect, male humor with lots of jokes about women. One reporter claimed the show “harnessed male resentment against women.” That’s a bit dramatic, but there is no question there was a lot of off-color humor.
Humor that would get you cancelled today.
And all those jokes came before they showed the women wearing bikinis bouncing on trampolines – which as you might imagine on something called “The Man Show” – was quite popular.
So, given his history, why does Jimmy Kimmel still have a job?
We all know the answer. It’s because, like Gov. Blackface, he says all the right things about gun control, illegal immigration, climate, etc. etc. etc.
Nobody cares whether Jimmy Kimmel has a job. It doesn’t matter that he is not very funny. It doesn’t matter – despite the hoopla – that not that many people watch his show.
But we all should care how liberals – who once defended free speech – are united in their effort to control what other people say.
DAN HAMMES is the former publisher of the Gazette Record.