To hear them tell it, life itself hangs in the balance.
Some will write this off to more Neanderthal thinking, but what is the big deal with plastic straws?
Our Liberal Betters are fixated with them. Cities ban them and now, just a short time after crackerjack reporters first discovered these manmade assassins, plastic straws have become the stuff of political speeches.
Earlier this month, leading Democrats – the very best and the very brightest the party has to offer – agreed that the future of the planet dictates all plastic straws must be gone.
What’s really scary is their war on plastic straws may have been the least crazy thing the really big thinkers in the Democratic Party proposed during their recent climate confab. It would certainly be the least costly.
Leading Democrats today – one could be our next president – want to ban gasoline, propane, natural gas and diesel. And while they’re at it, they want to tax your hamburger.
Hamburger tax? Well, they actually call it a meat tax. So they would also tax your steak, roast and ribs as well. Their idea is if they make beef more expensive, the Lesser People will buy less of it.
This makes perfect sense to the Liberal Set, once called the party of the working class.
Their theory is that if beef costs more, you will eat less of it. Cut demand and that will reduce the need for cows. Fewer cows mean a nice reduction in cow farts. This matters, because according to Leading Democrats, cow farts are killing the planet.
How they say this stuff without the moderator giggling cannot be explained.
Alright, we get it. Not a big deal. Plastic straws may be nice but we can live without them. Whisky, after all, sips.
But we can’t leave this alone. The Killer Plastic Straw panic is such a monstrous scam, it cannot be ignored.
Consider recent news out of Wyoming and South Dakota.
It’s not your typical dinnertime conversation, perhaps, but everyone understands that windmills wear out. You may not have thought about it, but it makes sense. Standing out there in the wind, rain, snow, sleet – after time, sure, makes sense – things get old.
What a lot of people may not know is the blades on windmills – they wear out along with the rest of the windmill.
Yeah, that surprised us too. The big, long blades that turn in the wind – the blade – wears out. What exactly wears out on a big hunk of fiberglass, we don’t know. But after some 15 years or so – sooner than originally promised by apostles of the Wind Energy religion – the blades must be replaced.
And these are monsters. A windmill blade is more than 150’ long. Some are much longer. So where do you put a 150’ long, used-up, non-recyclable windmill blade when it becomes trash?
You haul it to the dump, of course.
Recent news reports told about county officials in South Dakota and Wyoming struggle with landfill capacity because old windmill blades are displacing other trash. Worse, thousands more windmill blades – wearing out as you read this - are destined for landfills over the next several years.
This is happening now. And at the very same time the brightest lights in the Democratic Party wring hands over tiny, 8” straws.
Even Neanderthals agree we need to keep plastic out of the ocean. But Americans do keep plastic out of the ocean. Other countries, China comes to mind, not so much. None of that matters to the very best Democrats.
To fix plastic in the ocean, they outlaw straws in Kansas.
And at the same time they wage war on straws, they insist taxpayers must subsidize windmills – the same windmills that wear out sooner than promised, after making electricity that costs more other sources, before we send the old useless parts to the landfill.
They have worse ideas. More costly ideas. But the plastic straw scam is just too silly to ignore.
DAN HAMMES is publisher of the Gazette Record.